1. Mediocrity isn’t going to set its own standard
So your life’s a bore, you haven’t thought of anything remotely interesting for the last 6 months, your brain feels like it’s in deep freeze and everybody acts like they don’t really give a shit. Nobody needs you and you’re not making anyone’s life any better.
But… somebody’s gotta do it. I mean if it wouldn’t be you occupying the earth with your nonsensicality there’s a risk that the world would be taken over by crab people. Someone has got to set the standard for amoral normality.
Be mediocre… it’s necessary!
2. Everybody needs to picture a worse alternative
There’s always room to fill that gap! The less interesting you are, the more other people will feel better about themselves around you. Having no real hopes, expectations, perspective, friends or desire to live is actually helping your fellow man a lot more than you think.
Be crappy… it makes us happy!
3. The world needs a reason to change into something else (and intellectuals something to complain about)
The uncivilized, uncaring, untroubled – excellent subjects for novels, newspaper & magazine articles, blogs and all forms of social media. You’re a perfect reason for everyone else to suddenly become common sensed, creative and critical. People like you spur cultural movements, cause controversy and change.
Be a jerk… it makes us work!
4. Everybody needs someone to give them a push once in a while
You know those people that fall in love with someone they thought was different? You could be that someone! Provide hope, desire, aspirations… and finally the lesson of a lifetime. That people have to move on… in spite of other people. A kick in the rear, a step ahead. You could be that kick!
Be disappointing… it’s motivating!
5. Resilience isn’t going to teach itself
That you’re absolutely pointless, know it and keep moving forward is a lesson for everyone. People ought to stand in line for your autograph. The man who knew he was nothing and kept being it every day.
Be absurd… it’s a lesson learned.